6 Scholarship Essay Examples and What They Got Right (2024)
With rising tuition costs and increasingly competitive admissions, scholarships have become very important for students to fund their education and demonstrate their academic strength relative to other applicants. But to earn competitive scholarships, it’s not enough to just be a strong student or get involved in your community—scholarship essays are a crucial part of the application.
Many students will be eligible to apply for a given scholarship, making selection difficult. What makes an applicant different from others with eligible backgrounds and identical grades or test scores? Scholarship essays provide context on applicants’ character and aspirations, and why they represent the kind of student that scholarships hope to support. In these essays, students must justify why they are the ideal recipient, how they fit the mission of the scholarship and/or organization, and why the scholarship money would be a meaningful investment in their future.
With these high stakes, it’s reasonable to be nervous about how to approach these essays. In this post, we’ll look at 6 essays that worked—and why they were so effective.
Note: For the sake of concision, the in-text essay examples only include the first ~200 words. Links to the full text of each essay can be found at the bottom of the article.
Essay 1
Prompt: Explain something that made a big impact in your life.
“If you can’t live off of it, it is useless.” My parents were talking about ice skating: my passion. I started skating as a ten-year-old in Spain, admiring how difficulty and grace intertwine to create beautiful programs, but no one imagined I would still be on the ice seven years and one country later. Even more unimaginable was the thought that ice skating might become one of the most useful parts of my life.
I was born in Mexico to two Spanish speakers; thus, Spanish was my first language. We then moved to Spain when I was six, before finally arriving in California around my thirteenth birthday. Each change introduced countless challenges, but the hardest part of moving to America, for me, was learning English. Laminated index cards, color-coded and full of vocabulary, became part of my daily life. As someone who loves to engage in a conversation, it was very hard to feel as if my tongue was cut off. Only at the ice rink could I be myself; the feeling of the cold rink breeze embracing me, the ripping sound of blades touching the ice, even the occasional ice burning my skin as I fell—these were my few constants. I did not need to worry about mispronouncing “axel” as “aksal.” Rather, I just needed to glide and deliver the jump.
Essay strengths
Strong opening and thematic consistency: The essay opens with a striking quote that immediately engages the reader and introduces the theme. This theme of passion vs. practicality is explored in-depth throughout the piece, creating a cohesive narrative.
Vivid sensory details and imagery: The author uses clear, descriptive language to immerse the reader in their experiences. Phrases like "the feeling of the cold rink breeze embracing me" and using pronunciation errors to show the contrast between the author’s skill and youth make the essay more exciting. A boring essay is rarely a successful one!
Reflection and insight: The essay concludes with a nuanced reflection on the value of pursuits that may not be directly profitable but are nonetheless enriching. This shows strong character development and self-insight, and the ability to challenge the discouraging comment that opens the essay.
Essay 2
Scholarship: Fund for Education Abroad Rainbow Scholarship ($7,500)
Prompt: The Fund for Education Abroad is committed to diversifying education abroad by providing funding to students who are typically under-represented in study abroad. Please describe how you and/or your plans for study abroad could be viewed as under-represented.
“Oh well look at that one,” my uncle leans over and says about my brother-in-law in the living room wearing a dress. “I’d always had my suspicions about him,” he jokes with a disapproving sneer and leans back in his chair, a plate of Southern-style Christmas dinner in his hand.
I was hurt. Why would my own uncle say that like it’s such a terrible thing that my brother-in-law is wearing a dress? That it was the worst thing in the world if my brother-in-law were gay or effeminite.
“I think he looks beautiful,” my oldest brother Ethan chimes in. At that moment, I wish I could have hugged Ethan. No, not because he was defending my brother-in-law (who actually isn’t gay, as my uncle was suggesting), but because Ethan was defending me. My uncle has no idea that I recognized earlier this past year that heterosexuality wasn’t meeting all of my needs for intimacy with other people and that I’ve come to define myself as queer. It all started when I took a hard look at how my upbringing in Miami had taught me that the only way that boys are supposed to connect with others is by having sex with “beautiful” girls–that intimacy with other guys or “ugly” girls isn’t as meaningful.
Essay strengths
Powerful “hook”: The essay starts with a dialogue-driven scene that immediately pulls the reader into the narrator’s family context and establishes the central conflict.
Unique approach to the prompt: The essay directly addresses how the author's queer and polyamorous identity makes them underrepresented in study abroad programs. Addressing a less common identity spoken about in scholarship or diversity essays, the author uses a compelling approach to the prompt and a creative motivation for studying abroad.
Compelling conclusion with a vision for change: The essay ends with a creative series of "fade-in" scenes, illustrating the writer's goal of promoting tolerance through his experiences abroad. The author broadens the scope of his narrative by showing the relevance of his own experiences to others with similar identities, proving that this opportunity would support his community at large, not just himself.
Essay 3
Scholarship: Questbridge Finalist essay earning $3,000 in application waivers plus $3,000 in local scholarships
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Recall the most cherished memory with your father figure. For some it may be when he taught you how to ride a bike, for others it may be memories of him taking you out for pizza when mom said the family has to eat healthy, for others it’s the ability to confide in somebody that won’t judge or stop loving you because of the mistakes you have made. When a child is born, he or she is given a birth certificate, which provides information such as name, date and place of birth, but most importantly it provides the names of the parents of the child. On my birth certificate I have the name of my beloved mother Lurvin, but right above her name is an empty space where my father’s name should be.
As a child I would often compare my life to my peers; I would often go through all of these hypothetical scenarios in my mind thinking, “If my dad were around I could be like all of the other boys.” As the years went by I always had a sense of optimism that one day I would meet him and he would tell me “I love you and I’ll never leave your side again.” But when the time came and I met him on January 2014 I learned that a man can reject his only son not once, but twice.
Essay strengths
Compelling opening and thematic consistency: The essay begins with a thought-provoking question about memories with father figures, immediately setting up the contrast with the author's own experience. This theme of accepting and moving past his father’s absence, despite wishing things could be different, is explored in greater depth throughout the piece.
Powerful use of numbers and metaphor: The author uses the number of days (5,900) to show the impact his father's absence had on his early life—counting the precise number of days also demonstrates the continued emotional impact his father’s absence had on the author. The Y chromosome metaphor is another creative metaphor for the emotional distance between the author and his biological father.
Specific examples of achievements: The writer provides concrete examples of his accomplishments (Boy's State program, Young Senator's Leadership Program, wrestling) to illustrate the exact ways he’s overcome these challenges and become a confident leader. It’s important not just to state that you’ve grown in essays but to explain how you got there and why it matters.
Essay 4
Prompt: What differentiates you from the hundreds of DACA students who apply to our scholarship? Use one of those opportunities to tell us something else we cannot see just by looking at your grades, test scores, and transcripts.
“I always knew I was different than my friends in some way. Growing up, I struggled to speak English while everyone else had little to no problems. I needed extra help in school while my friends coasted by with ease. My friends would hop on planes and travel all around the world while I had to stay at home. At the age of 13 all of my friends started driving while I still couldn’t.
I built up the courage and asked my mother why I did not have access to the simple liberties everyone else did. My name Is Jesus Adrian Arroyo-Ramirez, and I was illegally brought to this country when I was just six years old. At the time I had no clue that I was breaking any laws, and I did not realize the fact that my life was going to change forever. Growing up with a different citizenship situation than my peers was and still is the biggest challenge I have to face in my life.
Essay strengths
Nuanced description of experiences: While all essays for this scholarship must discuss the applicant’s DACA status, this author emphasizes a unique element—he was unaware of this trait for many years. Discussing how learning about this part of his identity was a struggle in itself adds depth to the essay narrative.
Emphasis on resilience and achievement: The essay demonstrates how the author's challenges became a source of motivation, leading to impressive academic achievements. This shows determination and the ability to overcome adversity; while not directly mentioned in the prompt, diversity-based scholarships always want to see this element in the essay narrative.
Essay 5
Scholarship: NC Parks (Four-year scholarship to NC State University)
Prompt: What do you do to serve your community? Why do you do the service that you do? What impact have you made? What challenges or insights have your service contributions given you?
“What are the boys like in high school?” “Is it easy to get a boyfriend?” Sighing, the other frustrated leaders and I look at each other as we read the questions posed by the younger girls. Every year at Girls’ Night Out (GNO), a program that introduces and prepares eighth-grade girls for high school, the girls question the leaders about relationships and dating ad nauseum, irritating other leaders to the point of ignoring the questions.
Giving each question a careful and deliberate answer is often difficult, but instead of disregarding the issue, I try to offer my most sincere and honest advice. Originally, when I began as a group leader in the program I would give the same response, “You shouldn’t worry about boys. Instead, enjoy your friends, and do things you enjoy.” While that advice is true, it is often not the answer that will satisfy the girls. Through many years in the program, I have learned that advice is not “one size fits all”; it must be individualized to the person’s needs. Now, when faced with a question about dating, I respond with more questions before giving “words of wisdom”.
Essay strengths
Strong “hook” and opening anecdote: The essay begins with a dialogue-based scene from Girls' Night Out, showing the narrator’s outgoing personality and ability to mentor others in a “fun” environment. The author maintains this “show, don’t tell” writing style throughout the essay, ensuring that the reader doesn’t lose interest.
Multiple service experiences: The essay discusses two different volunteer roles (Girls' Night Out and the food pantry), which shows a commitment to serving her community through multiple avenues. While Girls’ Night Out is a more informal and lighthearted way of making younger girls feel welcome at school, the food pantry serves the essential needs of those outside her immediate community.
Essay 6
Prompt: Discuss in your essay any challenges or obstacles you have dealt with and overcome in life and how this will help you succeed in college and beyond. Describe how volunteer, community service or extra-curricular activities have shaped who you are today and what it has taught you. May also include future educational plans and career goals.
I have encountered an emotional barrier making it difficult to manage my schoolwork, extracurricular activities and family responsibilities. I have had to deal with being viciously raped by a peer during my sophomore year, resulting in severe depression. I am no longer allowed to be alone for a long period of time, as I’ve attempted to commit suicide twice, but I do not regard those as true attempts to end my life. I just wanted someone to know how I felt and how much I needed help.
My past has only made me more resilient, as I choose to prove to myself and those around me that I am more than the barriers I’ve encountered–but overcome.
It took a 3,000- mile flight for me to gain a different perspective of my world. Landing in Maine was nothing like home. There was no traffic, lots of trees, and absolutely no Spanish to be heard anywhere. I was a 10th grader when I found myself at Coastal Studies for Girls, a marine science and leadership school; I would be there for a whole semester. I was surrounded by strangers who looked different, sounded different, and could recite tide pool specifics in casual conversation.
Essay strengths
Powerful opening with vulnerability: The essay begins with a candid disclosure of personal trauma and mental health struggles. This immediately establishes the author's resilience and sets a tone of honesty that engages the reader. Most applicants are hesitant to draw from deeply traumatic experiences; this author takes the risk in order to show a truly impressive recovery and story of success.
Contrast and metaphor: The description of the author's experience in Maine illustrates her journey outside the struggles she faced in earlier years. The large geographic distance serves as a metaphor for gaining an emotional distance and recovery from a harmful environment.
Layered challenges to overcome: While the essay opens with a discussion of trauma, the author later addresses the challenges her first-generation and immigrant status have added to her pursuit of higher education. She takes her essay to the next level by showing how she’s not only overcome these obstacles but also started initiatives to ensure that students with similar backgrounds are supported in their own educational goals.
Full Text of Essays
One other option—Lumiere Research Scholar Program
If you are interested in doing university-level research, then you could consider applying to the Lumiere Research Scholar Program, a selective online high school program for students that I founded with researchers at Harvard and Oxford. Last year, we had over 4,000 students apply for 500 spots in the program! You can find the application form here.
Also check out the Lumiere Research Inclusion Foundation, a non-profit research program for talented, low-income students.
Stephen is one of the founders of Lumiere and a Harvard College graduate. He founded Lumiere as a Ph.D. student at Harvard Business School. Lumiere is a selective research program where students work 1-1 with a research mentor to develop an independent research paper.